Here's a Thought

Why do we always have to leave?

Why are we always leaving, always going?
I mean 10 years of packing bags and unpacking and re-packing. I never unpacked fully, a week goes by pretty fast.
Time in unmangable. It goes by too fast, it passes too slowly... everything seems to happen at the wrong time. That is the problem with time. However time is nothing at all. Solely a humn invention to mark events. Our lives are built of seconds and days of the week. Second by second, day by day, year by year. Time really is nothing at all.
However the whole time we are leaving, we are going, we are moving... house to house, border to border. We never learned how to stay, how to live...
I left and therefore I can't stop you from leaving... nothing will defer your path... not my words, not my love, nothing. I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to stop you.
I was always running, first in place and now thousands of miles away. I don't know how to stay. You're no different.
Maybe there is nothing good in this world, maybe people are as evil and corrupt as many think, maybe society isn't so good afterall... maybe our lives are run by corporations and people buying into the same products that slaughter the 3rd world, maybe all we touch we damage... but there is still good in this world.
Good that never makes the news headlines. The world is always falling apart and we blow it up across newwspaper headlines and the 6 o'clock news. We don't want to hear about the small things, the small goods things that someone somewhere did for no reason at all except becuase they were part of the same human race or did for no reason at all. These things will never make the headlines, maybe they are heard by word of mouth or are seen by a passerby. These small things, small acts of kindness are what will keep us going.
All the people who stand up when no one else does, the people who scarafice for other's with no alternate motive, the people who are hard to find and can't be found.
These small things, these courageous people will save us, from drowning in the evils of human society. Not everyone is here to make a dollar no matter who it hurts, not everyone is power hungry, not everyone buys name brands which add to the destruction of the world. You need to know I see it differently. I want you to seee, to know as I know. That there is still good in this world. That eliminating yourself from our lives will help no one, it will change nothing. Only with your voice, with your actions, your influence can anything change.
We were always leaving, going, moving, packing and never unpacking it was barely a life at all. I don't want to keep doing this, I don't want you to go, I don't want you to die. I may not know you, and I want the chance to know you, the chance for you to change everything. You have soemthing to say, something to do. You can't leave us without saying what needs to be said, what needs to be done. You can't leave me here, alone.
Why do we always have to leave?

It was implanted in our minds

All my life, born and raised in the United States it was implanted in my mind that there is certain things we should strive to be.

The television, advertisements, every aspect of our society has brainwashed us. Brainwashed into thinking bad about ourselves if we are not the right weight, think the right way, do everything the way which was predecided.

It has become normal to be anorexic or belimic, which are two of the most common eating disorders. Then there is: Pica,  Geophagia,  Plumbophagia,  Trichophagia,  Pagophagia,  Amylophagia,  Lithophagia,  Cautopyreiophagia,  Acuphagia,  Coprophagia,  Xylophobia, Geomelophagia, Mucophagy, Gooberphagia, and Ortharexia nervosa. 

Our society is raising us to think this way. These thoughts are repeatidly enforced  into our minds. 

We can't walk past a reflective surface without looking at ourselves. With passing thoughts of judgement.

We are raised to be the worst critics of ourselves physically. We think thoughts that destroy our self-esteem. We go without proper nutrition for days in hopes of losing a few pounds.

In all honesty...I'm no different.
My mind has been programmed as everyone else's. I have struggled with these problems as I find most have at least for a short period. I should understand the danger. I once had a friend who was on the verge of self0desruction, almost on her death bed to lose weight. When people noticed she didn't eat, she would eat and then throw up in plastic bottles which she hid in her room. These stories should haunt us. Forworn us, stop us from making the same mistake. However we find hapiness in our outer appearance.
Not to mention we are constantly being judged by others, strangers and often even by our friends. These judgements only add to our pre-existing doubts, they confirm all we thought bad about ourselves. When all this adds up we take action or lack of. We stop eating. We eventually lose weight which brings fleeting hapiness.
However this fleeting hapiness makes us happy none the less. The lose of weight enforces of the idea that it is okay not to eat. The lose of weight not only brings happiness but acceptance. Acceptance into a society or clones, and nobodies, and people who don't matter. If I have to be a certain weight, fuck them. If I have to think and do everything the same way, fuck that.
However I have my faults. I have failed too before. I mean have you ever gone 3 days without eating? Our answers don't always make us proud.
However these thoughts were implanted in our minds... they might destroy us. Destroy all individuality, all the rounds blocks that don't fit into square holes.