Wednesday, March 21, 2012

...

As the stars shine
and the city lights blink
on a cold sidewalk
the smoke lingers.
Refusing to break apart and disperse.
Lungs hurt,
To match the rest of my body.
Everything aches.
It pains.
It cries.
It yearns.
It misses.
Feelings of in-between
Here and there.
Dream and reality.
On a cold sidewalk I shiver.
Resolutions spur.
Ideas are born,
the commit suicide,
they die.
Epiphanies come.
The stars endlessly shine
as the city lights blink.
Time passes.
Very slowly...
It passes.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Happiness...

We're always searching, looking, grasping, crawling...
Not finding...
We fill our time,
Buy houses and decorate.
New cars and not so happy, happy hours.
Turn up the music,
Drown out the sound.
Watch thousands of pixels hours on end.

We complicate what is so easy.
Unplug from everything.
Listen to the country creek,
The warm sun upon your face.
Feel the wind across your skin,
Watch the birth of a new day.

Happiness cannot be bought,
nor marketed, or advertised.
Happiness is simple.
To be happy is truly the easiest of things.
You must not ask, nor seek or try to find.
It just is, it comes, it arrives just in time.
You must only be.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I am afraid...

I am afraid to die.
But that has never stopped me from taking another shot
nor stolen my breathe leaving me incapable to smoke.
I'm self destructive.
Like dropping bombs on my hometown.
A bar fight with myself.

I'm afraid to die like it is guarenteed to happen tomorrow.
When in reality the chances are slim.

I'm naive and still young,
However fear prevails.
I'm afraid to die.

I'm afraid to die,
I have not loved fully,
nor transformed progressiely,
I have not suffered enough,
Nor smile or laughed to stasify.
I have not made enough msitakes,
or been forgiven a few times more than I deserve.

I'm afraid to die,
Because I have not lived...

Friday, January 27, 2012

The weary, damper souls shed their tears...
Depression was an epedemic which plagued us.
Then finally this hell froze over,
Some greater power sent us a sign.
Our tears froze and turned into snow.
It floated down upon us,
Letting us sincerely know everything is going to be okay.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Thoughts and Mind

My thoughts consume,
they conquer, they claim,
My mind it spins,
It rushes, it sprints.
There is no quiet,
There is no calm.
My thoughts they scream,
they run with scissors.
My mind is gone,
It is lost and too humble to ask for directions.
It is sick,
but refuses to take its medication.
My thoughts they pain,
they cut, they injure.
My mind controls,
It provokes fear.
There is no quiet.
There is no calm.

Day by day

Everyday I feel farther away,
I try to feel less becuase the pain is unbearable...
Our distance on the map is inches,
I couldn't feel farther,
And my heart feels like we could on other sides of the earth...
My hear strings pull,
My eyes well with tears,
Waking up slowly become difficult.
Each day worth less than the day before...
Each day we are further away from the last time...
No next time in sight...
I feel unreachable,
I'm confused,
My heart is inverted,
like a flag in distress...
It keeps beating,
like the flag keeps waving,
quietly and carefully it slows,
The blood still flows,
It keeps on beat...
until one day the pulse stops...
and I'm gone.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

As the blade stabs,
pierces and cuts,
the blood slowly flows.
Holding the wound,
trying to breathe,
stumbling and tripping forward.
Your vision goes in and out,
eventually it goes black.
The overcoming feeling of cold.
The realization you are about to die.
What you see now are the your last memories,
probably the longest
and most precious moments of your entire existence.
Nothing makes sense like the media depicted,
the white blindding light is a myth.
All you see is the wore down city,
littered with garbage and grime.
The ground is cold...
that's all there is to it...
and one second your holding on...
and the next you are gone.

Ahora yo se...

Me siento loca pero con razón. La universidad me pone loca. Me pone nerviosa, celosa, enojada todo que no quiero ser. Pero yo se que necesito estar aquí... solo es el primero día y empece a hacer mi tarea... no se que onda sircusa pero cuando llego a el dormitorio todo cambia... extraño mi pueblito donde no hay nada y nada es complicado... como siento que no puedo estar aquí... como siento que no puedo hacerlo... pero sabes que necesita pasar.... y necesito aprender como hacerlo en el momento y hacerlo.

Monday, January 16, 2012

MOVIE QUOTE

‎"Todos estamos aquí de paso, ¿para qué? , no sabemos.
Escuchas que la vida es todo eso que pasa mientras estás preocupado por algo más, y según esto, estamos aquí para ser felices, la verdad, suena cliché. Y aunque somos muchos, no estamos solos [...] Porque a todos se nos acaba el tiempo."

Translation
We are all here in passing, for what? we don't know.
You have heard that the life is all this while you are worried over something more, according to this we are here to be happy, the truth is, it sounds cliche. Even though we are many, we are not here alone... becuase everyon's time comes to an end.

THIS ISN'T MINE HOWEVER IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTES...

y no sentia..

no sentia nada
ni un poquito
talvez soy culpable
quien sabe...
soy yo, nadie mas,no puedo ser otra persona
asi pasa en la vida
asi sientes
vacio
vacio como los manos de un pobre de la calle
tal vez es algo no puedes arreglar
tal vez
asi es la vida
seguimos viviendo sin saber
sin ver
sin sentir
asi es la vida a veces...
solo hay que esperar..
y esperar
y esperar
hasta el punto que algo cambia
tal vez para el mejor
o tal vez el contario...
no sabemos
solo hay que esperar
no sentia nada
soy yo, nadie mas, no puedo ser otra persona
solo hay una cosa que hacer
esperar hasta el punto que no puedes mas...
asi pasa en la vida

Sunday, January 15, 2012

My time is more...

And the time is always running...
never along your side,
in the different direction in a full stride.
Sprinting...
You gasp for air...
you choke,
you fight.
However, it is the battle that cannot be won.
Time truly never seems to be on your side.
It always asks too much,
and takes more than you have to give.
Asks you to leave,
and forces you to go.
It breaks you heart every time.
Time is supposed to be ticks on the clock,
The passing of the sun,
East to west.
The crossing off of days
and changing of years.
My time is more.
It is the smiles shared,
and the laughter which has arisen.
It is the shedding of tears,
and the letting go of sighful relief.
The leaps and bounds made.
The whispered "I love yous"
and the screamed fury.
Loud music
and lonely drives through back roads...
My time is more...
and although it is always running,
and although it hurts,
burns, tears and kills...
it might break, cut, stab and injure...
it is just what it needs to be.
Precious,
unrepeatable and irreplaceable
My time is more.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I do, I want, I am...

I do because I want.
I want because I am.
I am because I was born.
I was born out of love.
I am a by-factor of love.
I am full of love.
I give and receive.
I smile, I breathe.
I am love,
I am the middle man in-between giving and receiving...
I write, I sing, I dance.
Everything I do is a piece of my love.
I give a piece of my heart,
Little by little,
All that I can spare.
I fill up my heart and give what I can.
I do out of love,
I want out of love.
I was born out of love,
I am a by-factor of love.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Let it Burn

Goodbye to being depressed, laying in bed way too long and feeling empty. Goodbye to letting the past consume me. Goodbye to feeling sorry for myself and being a person people can hate. Goodbye to procrastination and being melodramatic. Goodbye to over eating and letting addiction control me. Goodbye to falling in love too quickly and the contrary trying not to fall in love. Goodbye to lying. Goodbye to doing things in the last minute. Goodbye to being anyone but myself and anything but all I can be.
Goodbye 2011
With love,