Beauty Must Have Died

And beauty must have died.
After draining bottle after bottle of substance.
Meeting eye to eye with the bottom of the glass.
Lighting up cigarette after cigarette.
In a dazed nicotine state came the time of death.
No one to pronounce the exact moment.
Beauty must have died because it seems it's no longer enough.
Actions indeed speak louder than words and you aren't proving me wrong.
Beauty must have died.
All washed up,
Possibly an overdose in a sketchy part of town.
Maybe a suicide off a high bridge into darkening waters.
It went quietly,
not a yell or scream
or any sign of it's departure.
Beauty must have died,
I'm just not sure how long ago.

...

A little bit of torture for scribblings of ink,
Litered pieces of paper putting my mind at peace.

My heart must break into fragments of fragments,
And my eyes must run dry.

My stomach must ache, empty as a begger's bowl,
And my head must pound my heartbeat.

As my pen meets paper my burden is deplored.

...

The wind blows.
It howls through double window pains.
Creep into my bones,
and occupies my soul.
Illuminated birds sway in the breeze.
Early morning daze and contemplated dreams.

The internal struggle

It's the internal struggle of the voices,
Of what you should do,
what you want to do,
and what you will do.
The ungoing conflict between yes and no.
The carefully and hastily placed bricks of your future.
Maybe we're young and we can make mistake after mistake
with little consequence.
They say live in the moment,
but when do we start thinking about tomorrow?
Let alone the rest of our lives...

Dear Syracuse University,

I'm sorry it has come to this but it has come. I'll try and sugar coat it and break it to you easily.... while you may have a charming campus and beautiful academic buildings there are some faults overall. Here are some but its not limited to those mentioned.

-You are unorganized (I don't know what the fuck I'm doing... I'll elaborate. I don't know what classes to take and no one has helped me thus far. I didn't know how to use balckboard or turnitin, no one taught me. In general there is lack of guidance and support within the university)

-Getting a job is hard on the university. I applied for over 8 jobs on campus, finally I got a job, no thanks to anyone. I found sujobopps by myself and applied by myself, no one helped me. Oh and when I finally do get a job you unsucessfully notified me of withdrawing my permission for work study. Oooppps, thanks a fucking lot.

-Also this is more a pet peeve but what's with all the god damn school fucking spirit? I'm sorry I don't look good in orange, and personally I wouldn't support our teams if we had better school colors. From the few athletes I've met well they were total inconsiderate cocky assholes... I know your job as an institution is to educate your students however would it kill you to produce people the larger population of the world can stand?

-Also I find laundry annoying. I'm not some stuck up privelaged kid who's never done it... but every time i do have more than $5 dollars in my bank I decided hey why don't I treat myself and wash my clothes. HOWEVER every time I try to change my money the machine in my dorm is out of service... are you kidding me? Which leads to some over top struggle for quaters. Oh then I find it depressingly humerous when I do find the exact amount of quaters to do my laundry and the machine eat my quaters. Nothing better than half damp jeans on a cold fall morning.

I'm sorry it has come to this however it has come Syracuse University... I would claim it is me not you however I find myself to be an opptimist and I could hold this in no longer. What I'm saying is maybe we need to take a break, we're not breaking up but you got to get your priorities in order.

Sincerly
An SU student

Let me fly.

You want me to be independent.
To be free.
To make the most of me.
Well don't clip my wings,
tie my feet,
or cage me in.
You took everything without even a word,
not even a half assed apology,
not a letter of notification.
You didn't dare look me in the eye.
My wings have been clipped,
my feet tied.
You want me to be independent but insist
on doing so with letting me fly.